Germans fear them, tell tall tales about them,
(bigger than fishing stories),
start to tremble, and
smart ones stay home and
walk to a gasthaus or a park or a soccer game.
What is a STAU you ask?
Many traffic jams in a row that are huge and long.
We came home from Hamburg on Sunday,
and are barely married and alive to share this one with you.
No kidding!
This slow traffic makes coming back from northern Minnesota
seem like a cakewalk.
We were warned about summer on the autobahn. North, south, east, west, it didn't matter what direction you would drive. Because of all the mountains in Germany, if you get on backroads plan on a two day trip.
Hamburg is a pleasant four-and-a half hour drive from Bamberg on a good day.
Returning from Denmark on schedule we stopped at M_D_____d's at 12:45,
should be at our apartment at 5:15 p.m.
Finally and thankfully at 9:45 we pulled in,
slightly rattled.
Germans love to camp,
taking excellent care of their pop-up trailers from the 60's and 70's.
Pridefully they are on the road,
with one-half of what they own strapped to their vehicle and
kids bouncing in seats.
Hills and small mountains combined with trucks also slow pace.
Next you have one-third of roadways torn up.
STAU signs flashing, lane changes,
arrows pointing here and there, and
speed reductions turn the scene into a nightmare.
To humor drivers in a 17 km. work area,
which causes a 30 minute delay,
a smile face starts with a frown and
then on mile markers gets happier and
then smiles as you move past out of construction.
Now about the left lane and the overly aggressive speed demons,
who usually drive at a pace of 100 to 130 mph.
They are having a bird.
When traffic opens up they soar, quick stop, brake lights!
They are egged on by radio DJs
who dedicate songs to all those stuck in a STAU,
such as "Wild Thing".
We drove most of the way with legs crossed and
monitored liquid intake. (definitely says Tom).
At an autobahn stop,
the line was out the door of both men's and women's.
When passing you could see maybe 8 to 10 men and
20 to 25 women anxiously hoping others would hurry up!
Buses were stopped with tour groups at gas stations.
Spasms of tension could be felt in the car.
Me, cheerfully reminding the driver of potential oncoming hazards and
folding in the passenger side mirror
to avoid it getting smashed on side rails.
The driver just kept gripping the wheel.
Some frustrated people got off on a side road to sip a cool beverage,
watching the STAU instead of being locked in it.
It is against German law to get out of your car on the autobahn in a STAU.
A variety of gondolas passed behind us -
Candles floated down the river later.
Three nights worth - I'll probably be back tonight.
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